Rayanne Thorn is a regular contributor to the intrepidNOW Media Network.
I have said these words to myself. I have prayed them to a God. I have whispered them to my mother. I have quietly and not so quietly shared these words with my children. I have cried them in the dark while curled up in a ball. And I have stood defiant, while baring my soul and screamed them at the sun.
I have bowed in utter humiliation at admitting my fears. For, if I am afraid, how will I succeed? And if I allow fear in, how can I conquer it?
Seth Godin recently asked, “How do I get rid of fear?” the answer was found in the gist of his blog – stop taking risks if you want to stop feeling fear.
Stop Taking Risks
Some say I must love fear because I seem to seek out risk. Or I attract it. For some reason, I am drawn to something, anything different. Doing work differently, trying something new, breaking old habits – or gaining new view points.
So if I am drawn to risks, if they are drawn to me – why do I dread fear, isn’t that part of it? Shouldn’t it be understood that fear is part of taking risks? Godin’s post poses instead, an alternative question, “How do I dance with fear?”
A favorite new question and quest
How do I dance with fear?
How do I move with fear in synchronicity to produce the best possible offering – product or service? Or me? How do I produce the best me by learning to dance with fear?
Fear is my new-found friend. Why? Because I can count on it! I know it will be there, always. Baring its nasty teeth, rearing its ugly head, coming after me, full force in an attempt to take me down, to keep me from getting there, which is where I want/need to get to – from here, where I am.
Turn and Face it!
Pivot, shift, turn, and face it. Fear will always be there, coming after you, pursuing you, attempting to conquer and squelch.
Where does your fear lie? Where does it stand?
Perhaps it is in a new relationship. If past loves have been less than kind, there may be residual fear that a new relationship will end the same way. Love is a risk, too.
Perhaps it is in a new job. If past work relationships have been less than healthy or carried a level of ruthlessness you found unfamiliar or unkind, fear of a new and unknown work environment can be very real.
Perhaps it is a new beginning marked by an ending:
- Children moving out and on with their own lives
- The death of a loved one or pet
- The sale of your home or business
- Divorce or break up
- The loss of a friendship
These are each typically thought of as an ending, but should they be? They can and should be thought of as new beginnings, a change of course, new direction.
So, I stand – I will continue to rise to risk, but now instead of cowering away from fear, which inevitably comes with it, I will turn – look fear straight in the eyes and ask, “Care to dance?”
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