Friday 27 January 2023
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#TheGist – Letting Go of the Past

Rayanne Thorn, TheGist, intrepidNOWAnd so it goes…

The Gist closes out 2015 – in an unexpected, unabashed way. Fear still rears her ugly head, but she is countered by hope – my friend from long ago.

What is it that you fear? That you run from? That you abhor or disdain?

Are you too ashamed to say? Are you too cocky to admit that you fear?

Letting Go of the Past

Last year, at this time – jobless, husbandless, and somewhat fearless – I melded into 2015 saying goodbye to 2014 – which had been my worst year since 2001. I have written before about the shelving of love, the loss of friends, losing a job I thought was mine for life and, once again, being at the mercy of the almighty dollar.

As I say goodbye to this year which has had its own share of classified woes – I am reminded of the wonderful life that waits for me to simply reach up and grab it. Hope reigns as my best friend. She will get me through once more. I have much to be hopeful for: a new husband, a wonderful new job with colleagues I respect and enjoy, a risky endeavor to grow a business with other colleagues I respect and enjoy, as well, and children who have found their way to adulthood. No one said it would be easy. Good thing, because I would called them liars.

No mother could be rightfully prouder than I. Though I do not deserve the credit for anything my children have achieved, I know that I helped them get to the place where they could achieve, where they could fly. Their father and I divorced long ago with his end of the bargain just a monthly check, fulfilled and done.

I feared my children would grow to hate me or grow away from me or, for any number of reasons become adults not in touch with the realities of adult life, an endless shelf of expected trophies. But they have not – they are smart, funny, happy adults with heads squarely on their shoulders and a pathway they have each made for themselves. Each a destination they pursue, as we all must.

Eyes Wide Open

And so with eyes wide open, an empty nest in clear view, I move forward, away from one fear and spiraling headlong toward another. Success, happiness, health, and peace. Pursuable yes, achievable? Not fully for these are lifelong pursuits, dependent upon the path and the roadblocks we meet as we abound along.

The Wisdom of Mothers

My mother once told me, “Anyone could follow a known path. It takes a real genius to discover a new way to get there.” Of course, this was her way of explaining why we always got lost whenever we went anywhere new and why a map was not her friend. She was right – someone else’s path is not yours. Someone else’s gains are not yours. But this also means that someone else’s failures are not yours either and the rough road they have trod does not need to be covered by you.

Blaze your own trail. Shine your own light.
And find the hope waiting for you – fears conquered, for now.


words to work by



Rayanne Thorn
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Rayanne Thorn works in hiring, strategy, marketing, and business development with technology companies and has held several high-level positions in the HR and recruiting technology space. She is the VP of Marketing at Dovetail Software and has been responsible for employment branding, hiring, employee engagement, employee retention, branding, marketing, sales, and partnership strategies in the past with TalentBrowser, Technomedia, Evenbase,, Broadbean Technology, and Select University Technologies, Inc. Earlier in her career, Thorn served as a business and search consultant, as well as an executive third-party and corporate recruiter. She has a Bachelor’s in Business – Organizational Development and Strategic Marketing from Vanguard University of Southern California.