Rayanne Thorn is a regular contributor to intrepidNOW, the mastermind behind #TheGist. She writes about how to combat and leverage fear to your very distinct advantage…
The Truth We Share
There are not many of us who would want our daily lives and how we consistently act or treat others listed on the home page of Facebook or have that behavior become prominent part of a popular Twitter feed, let alone on the front page of a newspaper.
Many fear consistently that they will be found out, that their secrets will be discovered or told. This fear can be stifling and get in the way of true vulnerability, which opens the gates for love or an honest working relationship.
We’ve heard stories of supposedly successful individuals who lied on their resumes or LinkedIn profiles, and how their worlds came crashing down when their lies were discovered. Perhaps you, like me, have walked into your office or sat in front of your computer and thought, what if they find out the truth, what if the proverbial they realize that I don’t know what the hell I am doing? Yes, I have thought that – we live and work in a fast-paced world where “what I know” changes continually because “how we work” changes practically daily. But mostly, because I threw myself into the lion’s den – I thrive on being tossed into new situations and having to learn an alternative way or an innovative tech in order to complete a task, in order words – I am a glutton for punishment. It is how I grow, learn, and rise to the challenge – that doesn’t mean that I don’t fear that I might be called out on what it is that I don’t know, or what it is that I have not yet done.
I rose from the ashes – I am my own Phoenix.
You can be your own Phoenix. You should be continually shedding your old skin – your old ways, and embracing the new or different. The minute my smugness alerts me that “I know everything I need to know” will be that moment when I start to slowly die. Or decide to change.
The What Ifs We Individually Face
- What if they find out I have been arrested?
- What if someone finds out I am over paid?
- What if my lack of education catches up with me?
- What if she finds out I had an affair?
- What if I can’t recover from this financial crisis?
- What if I lose my job?
- What if he sees that text message?
- What if my poor health is discovered?
- What if I can no longer hide the truths I fear?
We live in such chronic fear of the truth that it can actually be debilitating – it can keep us from opening our minds or hearts.
Think of this simple thing – how many of you have a lock or passcode on your mobile phone – what or who are you really locking out? Of course, you may want to protect your information or you might have a corporate email account on your phone. But is that the truth? Only you know what it is you are hiding.
I often write about the truth in my life – the hurts I have experienced, the mistakes I have made. Why? Because it is how I move forward and away from the stupid and the hurt. If it lives there, underneath it all – with no exposure to the sun, then not only do I not face it, but it festers, and the dread is real that it will be found out and my stupidity or hurt becomes exposed.
“The Truth Will Set You Free”
No greater words have been uttered or written. Let go of your fear and face your truths. Maybe you need to change – maybe you need to be your own hero. Maybe you need to see your own “stupid” in the light of day to move away from it and keep you from doing it again.
Then forgive yourself – whether others forgive you or not is their problem. Move onward – forward in life and work. Make truth your coat of armor – your protectant. There is no greater barrier between you and the bats in your own belfry.
My reality is different from yours – your perception is different than mine. That is the truth.
My daughter asked me not too long ago how I would describe justice. I had never thought about that – I mean, really thought about that before. What a blessing that question has been to me, today.
Interestingly enough, my answer will surely be different than yours because my life, my experiences, my survival instincts are different from yours – maybe as different as night and day — so how could I hope to make you understand what I believe to be true and right if it varies from what you believe?
Justice: when all parties have been served what they deserve. The difficult part of this is who that makes the determination of what is deserved. A human being or body of human beings typically make a determination of justice based on circumstances as they understand them. And if you have never experienced a particular injustice, how can you possibly understand what it is like?
Truth and justice are not fairy tales – they are there for the taking and for the perpetual revelation. Face them – strive to understand them and then learn.
“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” – Spencer Johnson
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