Friday 3 December 2021
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The Fear of Change

Rayanne Thorn is a regular contributor to intrepidNOW, the mastermind behind #TheGist. She writes about how to combat and leverage fear to your very distinct advantage…

Rayanne Thorne, TheGist, intrepidNOW

I Hate Change

I am a creature of habit. Sadly. It takes a lot for me to change, but when I do? It is crazy good. Why? Because I find a new and improved me; I grow and learn as I should.

An ongoing mantra for me over the last several years as been, “there is always a better way.” You can’t find that better way without doing something different than you have already been doing. Logical, I know. But stubborn is a nature most of us are born with and consistently rail against throughout our lives. We want to be right, we want to be intelligent – those two streams don’t always cross.

What About Others?

What if people around you don’t change but you do? What if they are unwilling to accept your changes or growth? What if they have no desire to change or improve themselves?

At 17 years old, I blasted through college at Indiana University earning a certificate in dental assisting in just three heated semesters. It was difficult and strenuous, but it was a quick route to working full-time, so I could then concentrate on what I thought I really wanted: marriage and family. Don’t get me wrong, I loved being married and I love my four children – they have been my best job and greatest journey. What I failed to realize though is that at 17, I knew nothing – no wonder I didn’t realize it. At 17, how could I possibly make an educational decision that would lead me to a fulfilled, lifelong career? There is no way I could have. It was ten years later, into my world as a dental assistant and four years into motherhood that I realized I wanted more from my life, my work, and my brain.

A Change?

I went to my husband and declare with much trepidation that I wanted to go back to school. He shut me down so quickly, that I didn’t know what happened. A few months later when I suggested again my desire, he stated loud and clear, “If anyone is going back to school, it’s going to be me.” With much respect to his own strong declaration, I eagerly supported him and said, “Do it! You will love it.” As a law enforcement officer, it would also put him in line for a promotion to Sergeant.
Sadly, he never stepped up – he never took the leap.

Years later with two more kids under our roof, there was not a question or suggestion from me, simply a statement that I was going back to school. My marriage was failing and I was unhappy. I knew I needed to be in a better place academically to support four children should my marriage end. And end it did.

The Journey to a Degree

Eleven years and a university transfer later, I stepped up to the podium to accept my diploma. Joyful tears spilled as I reached for that precious piece of paper; it had been such a long and arduous journey. The University President, with great concern, reached for me to ask if I was ok – I was pretty emotional. I just nodded my head, unable to speak.

Working three jobs and taking 3-5 classes a semester, plus single motherhood was seriously hard, but also incredibly satisfying. My major changed from English to Business and I found my path. Perhaps not the path I was supposed to be on at 17 years of age, but most definitely the path 20 years later.

When Paul McCartney sang about the long and winding road 45 years ago, it was easy to assume his words referenced love. But what I have discovered over the years is that we each have our long and winding road and once you finish one journey, another begins.

A New Path

The Better Way. Sometimes, I hate the fact that I am driven by this quest to find the better way. Because it means I am never done, the cork is never popped for the last time. Another bottle waits.

“Do the difficult things while they are easy and the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” –Lao Tzu

So does the next thousand. Damn.


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Rayanne Thorn
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Rayanne Thorn works in hiring, strategy, marketing, and business development with technology companies and has held several high-level positions in the HR and recruiting technology space. She is the VP of Marketing at Dovetail Software and has been responsible for employment branding, hiring, employee engagement, employee retention, branding, marketing, sales, and partnership strategies in the past with TalentBrowser, Technomedia, Evenbase,, Broadbean Technology, and Select University Technologies, Inc. Earlier in her career, Thorn served as a business and search consultant, as well as an executive third-party and corporate recruiter. She has a Bachelor’s in Business – Organizational Development and Strategic Marketing from Vanguard University of Southern California.

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