Patti DeNucci is a regular contributor to intrepidNOW, writing about people who want to live, work, and connect at a higher level.
If you’ve read my book The Intentional Networker, you already know I’m fully capable of dedicating an entire chapter to the fine art of saying no, as well as the delicate, but necessary business of creating brilliant boundaries and policies that help you maintain said no’s. No is a very good word. In fact, I think many of us could strengthen our resolve on when and how to say it.
And yet, I believe that once you know yourself well enough (including knowing your no’s) – and combine that self-awareness with sound, exciting, and ambitious dreams, intentions, and goals, the act of saying yes is wonderful and freeing as well.
Yes can ramp up your trajectory. It can help you create and fine tune your very best life, your best career, your best accomplishments and contributions, and even your best relationships. Best of all, it can rev up your energy and your fun meter like nothing else.
As I thought about the topic of yes recently, I scratched out some guidelines on when I believe it’s the perfect time to say yes. These have a track record in that they have worked for me. Nothing scientific about them. They are simply my proof. Perhaps they will work for you, too – or at least give you something to ponder as you come up with your own list. Ready?
I say yes when:
It sounds fun
It’s not just a yes, but a hell yes on any level
It’s something I’ve been dreaming about or envisioning
It comes out of the blue, but is one of the most brilliant ideas I’ve ever heard
It scares me, yet also fascinates me
It’s a challenge that I only partly believe I can conquer
Saying no just seems ridiculous, overly safe, wimpy, ordinary, predictable, or boring
Saying no gives me a huge feeling of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
It ties into something I used to love to do and have neglected
It keeps coming up in conversation or in what I’m listening to or reading (meaning my personal radar is trying to tell me something)
It’s just plain smart
It involves people I really enjoy
I can sense that I’m warming (not the same as weakening) to it
It’s a logical next step
I’ve heard a thoughtful argument as to why I should say yes
It brings me relief
Just the thought of saying yes excites me
It rounds out my experience
It helps me move on from a place of stagnation or sadness
It gives me new experience
I’ve done my research and see that it’s a no-brainer
It’s crazy and random, but also brilliant and irresistible
It sounds good after either a glass of wine or a cup of coffee (or both)
It’s best for those involved
It passes the overnight test
It just feels right on every level – in my head, my heart, my gut, my soul
It’s on my bucket list
The thought of leaving this life without ever trying it / doing it / going there puts me in a panic
No other answer will do
What signals, feelings, thought processes or conditions – obvious, subtle, persistent, or otherwise – tell you it’s a good time to say yes?
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- 29 Reasons to Say Yes - July 12, 2015
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