Patti DeNucci is a regular contributor to intrepidNOW, writing about people who want to live, work, and connect at a higher level.
Anyone who knows me well and has seen me present understands that I sometimes go off-script when there is a moment that is seize-worthy. One such moment occurred as I was presenting to a group of business owners in Houston. I really wanted this audience to “get” the concept that certain traits make some people wildly attractive to others, whether they are clients, co-workers, peers, contacts, or even friends and potential partners.
Some people just have that “it” factor, and I wanted my audience to understand what “it” was.
A key concept I’ve learned in my training and experience as a speaker and workshop facilitator is that those doing the talking are doing the learning. (That’s one reason why no one seems to learn anything when a pompous windbag gets up in front of the room and blathers on.)
Also, we all know that when people come up with an idea or arrive at a conclusion themselves, they are far more likely to buy into it – and even act on it – than if they are told that idea or conclusion.
In addition, I had just attended an event where the World Café method of getting people to talk, discuss, and connect was demonstrated. Ever heard of it? If not, I encourage you to look it up. I had enjoyed and been inspired by the process, felt engaged while experiencing it, and saw it as a perfect tool for this group and the point I was trying to make.
Conditions were perfect to give it a try and my rogue, mad scientist side began to emerge.
I began my experiment by asking each table to discuss what they believed were the top three to five traits that characterized their favorite clients, peers, associates, connections, friends, and so on. A scribe would record the results.
After about five minutes of lively discussion, I told everyone to move to another table; to shuffle the deck, so to speak, and repeat the discussion, again noting the resulting words or phrases.
After five more minutes, I had representatives from each table gather and decide what three words – yes, just three – most captured the essence of what everyone had discussed. More lively discussion ensued, but they came to a conclusion rather quickly.
The three words that seemed to sum up everyone’s ideas best:
The audience seemed very satisfied with these results. In fact, as it was sinking in, I could see smiles and heads nodding. Some very good energy began to pervade and ricochet about the room.
Others have done research like this, probably more scientific than the method I used, but the topic of what draws and endears us to others – and what makes relationships stick – is always fun to discuss, even in casual conversation.
In reading further about this topic and in discussing it with others, here are a few additional attraction traits you may find worthy of consideration.
-Get things done
What other traits would you add to this list? What seems to make you more likely and eager to connect with certain people, add them to your tribe, do business with them, hire them, refer and recommend them?
- Connect with Care: Referral Blunders and Yellow Flags to Avoid - August 20, 2015
- 29 Reasons to Say Yes - July 12, 2015
- 12 traits that make you wildly attractive to clients and colleagues - June 4, 2015